Coach on a Couch Wit and Humor

Loyola’s Cameron Krutwig has been overlooked the entire season and didn’t even make the Wooden Award’s Midseason 25 Watch List. Did a little googling and discovered that the Wooden Award’s 26 member National Advisory Board takes responsibility for the watch list before coming up with a final ballot right before the NCAA tournament. Granted, my googling skills leave a lot to be desired but after spending several minutes hammering away at the keyboard, I couldn’t find a list of names on the Advisory Board. Even came up empty-handed when I typed in, “Village Idiots Who Left Krutwig Off Wooden Midseason 25.”

“Because of Covid, we even have alternatives for this year’s NCAA Tournament. In past years, that was called the NIT. Perhaps most peculiar is perineal powers Duke and Kentucky will be watching on TV instead of playing. No tears shed here for Coach K of Duke or Coach Cal of Kentucky. Coach K disappointed me earlier in the season when he used Covid as an excuse to shut down when he should have been playing. Looked to me like he was trying to get a temporary reprieve from death row and delaying an inevitable funeral for his Blue Devils. And I’m getting tired of Coach Cal’s Formula One and Done Recruiting used every year. Like Formula One Motorsports, you’re bound to crash and burn at some point.”

Reason Number Two (for Baylor beating Gonzaga): Although there is no player that either team puts on the floor that is remotely close to a liability, Baylor is deeper. The Bears’ 8th man Matthew Mayer, a versatile 6-9 wing, was a four-star recruit coming out of high school in Texas. He is good enough to score 10-15 points in an NCAA championship game if foul trouble dictated him playing more than his 14.6 minutes per game. Meanwhile, Gonzaga’s 8th man, 6-3 freshman guard Dominick Harris, is playing garbage time and averaging just over eight minutes per game. His best chance for 10-15 points is in the Zags’ intra-squad scrimmage next season.”

Yes, Baylor’s guard combination is among the best in NCAA history. Certainly, the best I’ve seen since future NBA players Deron Williams, Dee Brown, and Luther Head took Illinois to the national title game in 2005. Gonzaga’s big men might have had a fighting chance of stopping Baylor’s guards (on the ball screen switches) if tripping was allowed in the NCAA rulebook.”

I feel like I’m on a bit of a roll with my complaints at this point, so I’ll blog off with one last pet peeve. Why have half-court logos become so obnoxiously oversized in the college ranks? Thought this was just a fast food issue. When you’re best 3-point shooter can make more than 30 percent of his attempts from the logo, it’s way too big. Period!”

Meanwhile, last year’s best conference, the ACC, has plummeted and might be the weakest of the power conferences. Granted, Duke (6), Louisville (11), and Florida State (14) are in the Top 20 of the NET rankings, but last year’s national champion Virginia and North Carolina might be easier to find on a milk carton.”

“With Bolden on the bench, Duke’s inexperience showed defensively around the basket (against Gonzaga). As always, Barrett and Williamson were terrific offensively, but both missed assignments with their rotations on defense. For a while, it looked like Barrett and Williamson might have an easier time learning the Zags’ Rui Hachimura’s native Japanese, than mastering their help-side D.”

“Texas Tech is one of the best defensive teams in the country and Coach Chris Beard’s club might be better than anybody at drawing offensive fouls. Imagine mustering the courage to take a charge on the super explosive 285-pound Williamson (who plowed over the Red Raiders three times in the game) at the rim? Sort of like standing in the way of a refrigerator rolling down a steep staircase.”

“It’s my hunch we saw only a glimpse of what Williamson can do in the future. Can’t wait for Coach K to roll Mount Zion into the post. Might have a better chance of crossing the border and moving the Egyptian Pyramids than getting him out of the lane.”

“Virginia still has to win at least two more and make the Final Four to put last year’s UMBC nightmare behind them. Otherwise, the only way the Wahoos can get off the hook is if Donald Trump exonerates them.”

“Nevada’s Mussleman has clearly brought energy to the Pack program and his intensity on the sidelines was interesting to watch in the Utah State game. For most of the first half, he was all over the refs. At one point during a media timeout, he even chased down one of the refs underneath the basket. Surely would have been a technical if the ref had not been in the restricted area.”

 “So how many things went wrong for Kentucky in this (118-84 loss to Duke) disaster? I’m sure Coach Cal and his staff can come up with at least 118 reasons (maybe even more) when breaking this one down while requesting FEMA assistance.”

“Halftime score had Michigan beating Villanova 44-17 committing just one turnover. Might have imagined this happening if these two schools were playing in football.”

“Some final thoughts on last year’s rematch. I have to admit my mind was wandering during this surprisingly uncompetitive game. Is it my imagination, or does Villanova’s arena look like a giant spaceship? The Wildcats were surely Lost In Space (Danger Jay Wright, Danger) in this one!”

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